COMMUTER MINUTE THEORY

I’m not a mathematical man. Isaac Newton would despair if he saw me trying to do a sudoku. However, my brain has given birth to one logic-based theory… Commuter Minute Theory.

CMT is a theory about how long it takes to complete a city journey,
not in actual minutes, but in perceived minutes.

For example, I hate getting the bus. It stops at traffic lights and it’s often full of annoying people. With chicken. BUT the glorious marvel that is the tube whizzes through the tunnel at what feels like lightening speed. So for me a bus minute feels longer than a tube minute.

My business partner Garret doesn’t mind the bus. He’s got a phone signal, he has time to read and he can see the city. So for him a bus minute doesn’t feel as long as it does to me.

My other business partner Jack is a cyclist, so he hates the tube and the bus. Jack would rather spend twice as long getting somewhere by bike than spend half the time on the tube. So for him a bike minute feels like half the time of everything else.

I realised it’s all about perception. SO I MADE AN EQUATION. A really simple one…

Length of Journey (in mins) x Minute Type = Commuter Minute Total

For me, these are my minutes:
Tube minute = 0.5min (When the tube works it feels quick.)
Walking minute when early = 0.5min (La-de-daaa! Time well spent.)
Bike minute = 1min (I use a Boris bike. It’s… not bad.)
Train minute = 1.5min (Nice view, but feels slower than the tube)
Bus minute = 2min (Yawn. Another traffic light? Bore off.)
Walking minute when late = 3min (Why are my feet so SLOW!?)

So in ‘reality’ (the reality in my head – the only reality that matters) a tricky choice between a 15min walk or a 10min bus ride is easy when you do the maths. In Commuter Minutes the walk takes 7.5min and the bus is 20min. Easy decision – get walking.

Do give it a try, it never fails. And all you city-dwellers out there, let me know… how long are your Commuter Minutes?

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a sudoku from 1998 to finish…

(London bus picture designed buy Quentin Newark and can be purchased as a poster here.)