JENNIFER ANISTON’S DEAD DOG

I just read that Jennifer Aniston’s 15 year old dog ‘Norman’ has died. Let’s think about how I know this.

First, the dog died. A personal moment of sadness. Then a Hollywood PR person, whose entire job involves making us care about Jennifer Aniston, wrote a press release about the dead dog and sent it to websites and newspapers in order to use the dog’s death to get Jennifer Anniston more exposure. On receiving the self-publicising dead dog press release the reporter said ‘a dead dog, THAT’S A STORY’ and took time out of her day to write a dead dog article and create an accompanying picture gallery of ‘Stars and their Furry Friends’, complete with over one hundred photos. Then, using a complex network of computers, satellites and global technology she published the dead dog story to millions of homes, offices and mobile phones around the world, where it began receiving comments discussing Jennifer Aniston and her dead dog. Soon it became morning here in the UK, and I (totally unaware of the dead dog) turned on my computer to find out what had happened in the world while I was asleep. At this point the dead dog story, which originated in Jennifer Aniston’s house in the west coast of the USA, was beamed using a high-tech network of fibre optic cables into my house in South London where, without even having to get out of bed, I am told about the dog. Who is dead. Who belonged to a woman I’ve never met.

Now I’m not saying there could have been a better use of this global news network but a billion people don’t have access to clean water. Just saying.

(Picture by emy-msm on DeviantArt)